Roller-Coaster

I glanced at the calendar and with a jolt realized that in two weeks, I would already be married! Though I have had enough time for it to sink in, it still feels a little weird. It feels strange that with just one ceremony, a lot of things would change overnight. When you sit and think about the magnitude of the whole marriage thing, it does tend to overwhelm you.

Gone will be the days when you could be as irresponsible as you wished and still run to your parents when things went wrong.

Gone will be the days when you could be wild and carefree and not give a damn about what the rest of the world says.

Gone will be the days when you could harbour secret crushes and have hour long conversations with your best friend about it.

Gone will be the days when your independence and freedom was something you took for granted.

Sigh……

Suddenly, there is too much pressure to grow up, to behave.

Suddenly, you realize that your blunt and straight forward behaviour is an impediment to building relationships.

Suddenly, you are required to marshal all those (hidden) reserves of patience and diplomacy to manage and deal with different equations and people.

Suddenly, you are required to transform from a girl/kid/tomboy to a woman.

Why then am I marrying??? you might ask.

Well, because you realize that life moves on and change is the natural order of things.Because you realize that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.Because you realize that at the end of the day, after all the socializing and partying, there’s a vacuum which only he can fill.Because, you realize finally what your parents have been telling you from quite some time.Because, you realize that even though you are scared and having panic attacks, you know that this is what you want.

Atleast that’s what the saner part of me reminds me when I have managed to calm down a bit after I am done with the freaking out stage

So, to all my friends, consider yourselves forewarned….Be ready for those “OMG what am I doing” midnight calls and “I can’t do this” frantic early morning calls

P.S: Happy valentine’s day everyone

Another year rolls by to herald the year touted as “The year in which the world will end”. This year has been quite eventful,with a lot of ups and downs.A lot of realizations,some nasty surprises and some cherished moments.Lets start with all that went wrong, then end it with all that went right and end it on a cheerful note,shall we?

My grandmother passed away this year.I have always been fond of her and was one of her favourite grand daughters.I remember the days when we used to get at 4am to make holige!!!I remember all the times she would dote on us,buy us stuff and in the recent past,her continuous pestering about finding a husband for me

Her loss will always be felt and she will always be remembered in our memories.

I dont think I have cried as much as I have done in the past 6 months over issues I never ever imagined would happen.I had hoped to forge new relationships and was anticipating all the warmth and fondness that I have witnessed in other such relationships.But all that was  dashed to pieces.I cant even begin to describe and neither am I at  liberty to disclose such horrible things on a public forum.But I was faced with the kind of thinking and attitudes that I have always abhorred from when I was a kid.Little did I realize that even in this day and age,with the kind of modern thinking and upbringing that I have had and come to taken for granted,such attitudes and thinking exist,even in so called “modern,educated” families.Here I was,a modern educated girl,with all her fiery ideals,being forced to put up with people who still are stuck with ideas that existed half a century ago!

It has left me with a very bitter aftertaste and has made me more cynical and more caustic.

But as much as I crib and rant,I cant deny that this year has also brought in a lot of happiness and success in my life.There were a lot of nice stuff that happened.I love traveling and I got a chance to do more of that this year.I got to visit a city I had often read about growing up.London,whose sights and smells seemed so foreign and yet so familiar.London which has so much to offer in terms of sights to take in,cultures to experience,shows and performances,art and theater,museums and pubs.And then there was Scotland,with its beautiful castles, intoxicating scotch whiskey and the picturesque highlands.

Hope to travel and explore more places this year.

This was also the year where love bloomed and relationships strengthened.My best friend became more than just my friend.We laughed and fought,we grew up a little,lessons were learnt and hearts were bruised,we fell and we rose and in that process found that the love still remained.Life now has changed quite a bit and I am not complaining about the changes Last December 31 was a turning point and so was this one.

I am happy to have you in my life and to be a part of yours,panda

On the work front,I got a much fought for promotion and an award .It made up(to a little extent) for being in a city I don’t like and for being away from friends and family.

I am eagerly awaiting for whats in store for me this year,though there are parts of it I am dreading.But,let us see what this new year has to offer.I hope,wish and pray that all my loved ones are safe,happy and healthy in 2012.Cheers everyone and  a happy new year

Fairytales and romcom movies should be banned.They become our standards by which we measure everyone and everything in our life.Practicality and realism should be made compulsory in our curriculum.Maybe even a spoonful of cynicism.Otherwise we sure are in for a rude awakening.

“Everything is fine, but …………. he/she does not belong to our caste!” Right at that moment, a judgment is made. A judgment that has got nothing to do with what kind of a person you are.A judgment made without even being given a chance to prove otherwise.I think even the most hardened criminals are allowed this one consideration.

Funny, when growing up, they do not differentiate between your friends based on their caste or even on their religion. But as soon as they know that the person you are dating or intend to marry is someone outside your caste, there is an automatic shutting down of all their rationality.

One of the most common arguments is about language. Even if today, the world is shrinking at a rapid pace and globalization is the new mantra. Most often, there are a multitude of common languages that can be spoken, especially in a country like ours, where everyone knows a minimum of four to five languages! So, you may not be able to speak to some of the extended family. Not being able to converse with people whom you would be meeting for a few minutes in a year suddenly becomes more important than the silences between two people forced to live together with nothing in common except the fact that they belong to the same caste.

Another favorite argument is about traditions and customs. Most of us barely follow them, except on festivals and ceremonies. Mostly, blindly following what our elders say, more as a token of respect to them. Should this really be made into such a big bone of contention? Is it really that difficult to show a little tolerance to each other’s cultures and follow them both? Why is it necessary that we all have to follow the same culture? Doesn’t life become a little more interesting with variety in it? Traditions and customs were after all made by men and it is something which is continuously evolving. There is nothing that is set in stone.

Ask all those parents who oppose blindly and you will find that their reasons to not be on board with this will often be because of petty things. Things like attire, food which will vary even if you are from the same caste/religion. Or in some cases, it is to do with what the “relatives” will say. Never mind, if these are the same people who turned their backs on you when you needed them.

I am lucky that my parents are and have always been very open-minded. They have been very understanding and supportive all through my life and continue to do so at this juncture too. But, I know that there are many out there who aren’t so lucky. So, here is what I have to say to all those parents. Please give them a chance. For all you know, he/she might be a gem of a person. If only you open up your hearts and homes to them, you might realize that all your irrational fears might be unfounded. That he/she might be a genuinely nice guy/girl, just the kind you had always wished for your daughter/son. Someone, who obviously cares and loves your offspring enough to put up with your coldness and still is sticking by them .Someone who obviously means the world to your son/daughter. Could you not at the very least try to get to know them before you form opinions about them and close your doors on them? If you do love your children and I am sure that you all do, you owe this one small thing to them.

What keeps a relationship alive even after many years of seeing the same person’s face every morning and night.What is it that keeps people together,even after you have seen each others most disgusting and irritating sides.When the allure of mystery is no longer there.When life’s ups and downs turn even the most die hard romantics to pragmatic people.After all,even the most glorious and sparkling romances must lose their shine after some time.

While some might say that familiarity means more comfort,doesn’t it also breed contempt?There’s nothing new or exciting any more,nothing to keep that spark there.So,what then?What is it that keeps people together?

Lets forget about the kids and the constraints of the social norms.Lets just take the couple as such.Is it like an old friend whose value in your life just appreciates more as the years go by?Is it the security of knowing that there is atleast one such person out there who is well versed with the real you,(both the good and ugly parts) and still willing to stay by your side.Is it like wine which tastes better the older it gets?Is it love which started off as a passionate blaze over the years morphed into a warm companionship?

Well,i guess we can only hope,it is so…..

There comes a time when you have to stand up for what you have believed in all your life.It is not risk free,but then which endeavor ever is?But rebelling is easy only until, you look into their eyes and know that you are responsible for the tears in them.Hurting those you love the most is the worst fall-out of this endeavor and yet,you know that this was inevitable.It is a no-win situation,no matter what the result.All you can hope for is,someday they understand why you did what you did.

Long walk on the beach starting at midnight,which continued into the wee hours of morning.Moonlit night and the entire stretch of beach to ourselves.What else could have made it more perfect?Read on to find out

Tripti, Payal and myself set out at 11 pm to Neelankarai beach to join the turtle walk.This walk is organized by SSTCN(The Students Sea  Turtle Conservation Network) which is a voluntary group, mainly comprising of students who have been working in the beaches of Chennai since 1987, trying to conserve and create awareness about the endangered Olive Ridley sea turtle.We met the group and it started out with a brief Q & A session which was very informative.

Did you know that these turtles have this “homing instinct” which drives them to visit their birth place every 10-12 years.So,even if they have traveled as far as the Australian shores,they will come back to the shores that they were born on.Truly amazing,right!Wish all those Indians abroad who have forever left our shores had atleast a little bit of this “homing sense”

Another interesting fact,the gender of the turtles depends on the temperature of the nests of the eggs.If the temperature is above certain x degrees,it is a female and if lower, then it results in a male.When they asked “Do you know the difference between a turtle and a tortoise”?,I was like,”Damn,I knew all these answers a few years back,my GK has definitely gone for a toss !”

Anyways,at around 12.30 we started off on the walk.Our first encounter were dead turtles,they were pretty huge,but it was a sad sight to see those amazing creatures dead ,some of them looked like they had been injured by those trawling nets,which is one of the main reasons for many of their deaths.Also the lights on the beach are another risk to this species.When the young hatchlings are born,they are supposed to crawl out towards the sea.At night,the moon light reflected on the sea is what attracts the hatchlings to crawl towards the sea.But due to mast lights or floodlights on the beach,they get attracted towards them,and crawl in the opposite direction,resulting in them dying due to dehydration or being eaten by dogs or being poached

Feeling a little bummed,we continued walking some more and found turtle nests with around 130-140 eggs in it!!They felt soft and leathery and we were all really excited to have come across one.Another thing to be noted is that these eggs need to be transported within first 24 hrs or else later,they turn brittle and hence there’s more risk of them getting broken during transportation.So,the volunteers carefully took out the eggs and placed in a cloth bag to be transported to the hatchery,where they can hatch without fear of predators.Then we took a break of 30 mins and started off on the walk again .This time we were lucky enough to see the turtle coming out of the sea like some mystical creature of the sea and it crawled towards the beach to find a suitable place for its eggs.Since there was a steep cliff,it couldn’t climb over it and it returned back to the sea to find a more suitable place for its precious eggs.

Then as we walked futher,Payal,Tripti and myself were much ahead of the group and we spotted the turtle tracks and excitedly pointed it out to Shiva who was leading the expedition.He went to investigate and there we found the mother turtle in the process of laying eggs!She was well camouflaged with sand on her back almost looking like a rock!We gathered around to watch it laying eggs.Plonk,Plonk!!and amidst all the excitement,as I bent down to stroke it,I saw tears or atleast its eyes looked like there were tears in them and she was gasping with every egg that she produced and I felt sad for its pain and also really touched to be witnessing it.I stroked her almost whispering,”Don’t worry,it will all be over soon”

We retreated and watched it from some distance until she was finished with it.And then began the dance.She was thumping with her left and right flippers to cover up the hole with sand .You could feel the vibrations almost for a few meters!Then when she was done,it was so well camouflaged,there was no way anyone could have guessed there was a nest hidden there!And then she bid adieu and went back to the sea,leaving us spellbound with mother nature and her way of ensuring the survival of all those various creatures,big and small.

We trooped back home from Besant Nagar beach, tired but happy.Ate some home made delicious cake(Thanks Tripti….yuummmmm).Then I made some french toast(which if I may say so,was pretty tasty) with a hot chai
The perfect end to a beautiful,fun filled night.

Thanks to all those volunteers who have been working tirelessly for the conservation of these sea turtles and for letting us participate in it.Thanks Payal for letting me know about this awesome walk.Thanks Tripti and Payal for being awesome company

For more details on the walk and to know more about this organization,you can visit the below website.

http://sstcn.org/